it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize