whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
