this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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