Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think i peed on brittanys purse
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
