You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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