what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
