I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
