I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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