yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
