Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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