The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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