Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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