I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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