Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
