do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
