I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
