Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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