Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
