mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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