Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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