so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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