I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
