I cockslap morals
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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