Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
