That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
