Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
