i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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