I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
