you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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