Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
