Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
