I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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