So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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