think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
