There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
