you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we're making bets on your personal life
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
