so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Green mimosas i think yes
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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