What did we do last night that was yellow?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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