What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
