i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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