She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
