all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
