bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
