lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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