So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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