Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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