I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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