He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
