Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
