Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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