The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I deserve to be covered in dicks
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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