STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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