"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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