dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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