The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
