he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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