I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
