Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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