I wannas sexs uuuuu
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
